Normal Guy Man vs. Sleep - Voting

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Normal Guy Man vs. Sleep - Voting

Post  Damxge on Thu May 19, 2016 4:08 am

Just vote for the story you liked the most and the winner will be crowned in one week!

Normal Guy Man
It was midday, a hot day, the kind of day you actively stay in the shade. Not really being a fan of hot weather, I sought refuge in a small bar on the outskirts of town. It was a dive, filled with the meanest, toughest and sickest badasses in the whole city. But this did not sway me, and I did not hesitate to take a seat at the poker table.
Anyway, that’s just setting the scene. It gets really f***ing bizarre in a minute.
So, I’m playing poker. My chips are down due to a lack of poker face ability, due to the carefree smile I’m forced to express constantly. One guy who kept calling me out – I didn’t know his name, but he was a monster of a man. Big, thick bushy beard, leather coat, and a tiny hat with a spike poking out the top.

“Your smilin’ is really pissin’ me off, bub.” He emitted in a gravelly brood. I looked up from my cards.

“Why do you have a spike on your helmet?” I asked politely, ignoring the threat. The man’s face contorted tighter.

“For killin’ people… with my head.” Interesting.

Suddenly, the door swung open. A few turned, but most lost interest as if a black-clad goth hadn’t just walked in.

“When’re you getting’ that door fixed, Mike?” came a voice from the bar, obviously addressing the barman “That sh*t opens on its own all the time!”

On it’s own? Nonsense! Why, there was a fellow stood right there, walking… straight at me?

“You gon’ play or what, bub?” Grumbled spike helmet man. I turned around to the table, snapping back into reality and glancing at my hand. Two aces.

“Sure, I’ll play.” I announced, reaching into my pocket and throwing the contents onto the table: a paperclip, a few coins and a bag of the most OG kush you’ll ever smoke. “On second thoughts…” I reached and grabbed the bag again, shoving it back into my pocket. A moment of silence occurred as the men tried to make sense of my bet. Until, as expected, one of them challenged the offer.

“I’m done playin’ games with you, boy!” Exploded spike helmet man, crashing his hairy fists onto the table “You ain’t been playin’ right since the start!”

“If you’ve got a problem with him…” came an even rougher voice, this one sounding like death himself “Then you’ve got a problem with me.”
I looked above me to see a towering figure looming over my torso. It was the goth from before. I was relieved, but upon looking back at spike helmet man it was as if he was still waiting for my reply. He didn’t even glance at goth man! How could you ignore this guy?

“Didn’t you hear, buddy?” I started “My metal-cladded friend here will tear you a new poopshoot if you try anything.” Spike helmet man just gave a confused expression.

“You’re metal-cladded… who?”

“Uh…” I pointed above me “That guy. The big one. With the hair.” I motioned my hands over my eyes, to mimic goth man’s hair style. But spike helmet man seemed to just see the other side of the bar.

“Enough of this sh*t!” he bellowed, grabbing a tankard and throwing it at my face with the power and sound of a Harley starting up. My eyes widened, and then closed. Upon opening them, all I saw was the back of a clawed fist, holding the tankard. I followed the arm up to see goth man’s face. He’d saved me!
Goth man let out a smirk before lobbing the tankard back at spiked helmet man, flooring him instantly. I let out a slight ‘woo!’, but everyone else just looked confused and horrified. I turned to goth man.

“Thanks, dude, you did me a real solid just the-“ a vice grip formed around my throat, lifting me from my feet. I felt my eyes popping out my skull like balloons.

“I know not your name, strange, shaggy-haired one.” Boomed goth man’s voice “Only that you must die.”

“Die…?” I managed to squeak, barely able to wrap two hands around this guy’s knuckle. “What have I done wrong?”

“I am Sleep, the Balance. And I’ve come to restore balance to you. The mortals here… they can’t see me. You’re floating in thin air at the moment in their eyes. But you can… so, are you mortal?”

“I’m in a lot of pain, is what I am” I huffed between breaths.

“Jest all you like. Your fate shall be the same.” Sleep groaned, lifting his arm up to no doubt slam me into the ground.

“Wait!” I bellowed. Sleep halted.


“If they can’t see you, why did you talk to that guy with the spiky helmet? When he threatened me?” I asked. Sleep paused for a second, thinking to himself.

“Because,” he began “This battle is poorly written.

Then suddenly, pain. I was flung into the floor, causing the floorboards to butterfly up in the crater I formed, then kicked through the bar door and into the street.
I ricochet into the other side of the street, imbedding myself in a woman’s underwear store. Through the thong wrapped around my head, I could just make out sleep’s humungous mass of muscle charging straight for me.

“You’re not dead!?” he exclaimed, “How!?”

“Captain obvious, on the case!” I blurted. Sleep reached down, gripping a paw around my ankle and swinging me again. As I went, my head bounced off of walls and ceilings, before he flung me like a sling shot up high.
There I soared, a blank expression on my face. Through the clouds I went, the air becoming thin until finally I reached the peak of my flight. I looked up, making out the moon and a few stars.

“Wow, that looks gre-“I was stopped mid way, Sleep’s outstretched foot digging deep into my back and pushing me further. Higher. Out of the Earth’s atmosphere entirely.
I felt a crunch, but heard no sound. Upon peeling my face from the white, rocky surface I was laid on, I noticed I was indeed, in fact, on the moon. I looked to my left, where Sleep stood triumphantly.

“I’ve always wanted to come here!” I squeaked, and Sleep’s face contorted.

“How… how are you making noise!? In space!?” he asked. I just shrugged in reply. “And how can you hear that!?”

“The details aren’t important,” I added “What matters is that we’re here. Together. Sharing this mom-“ again, I was stopped. A right hook, followed by a jaw-shattering uppercut, and finished with a spinning kick to my groin. Sleep’s powers were uncertain, but he really knew ho to deal la douleur.
I landed back on Earth, in the bar from before. It was abandoned, the clientèle obviously bailing when they saw a man seemingly fling himself through the wall. However, the TV was still playing. It let out a chime that signalled the news. The reported began :

The city has been put on red alert as what appears to be a comet has been spotted entering the Earth’s atmosphere. Offocials are unsure where it has come from, but an immediate evacuation has been started.

Looked a the picture of the glowing light in the sky, then ran outside. I could see it for myself. It was Sleep, diving towards me from the moon. From the f***ing MOON, MAN.
I ran inside and looked around, grabbing the only weapon I could find – spoke helmet man’s spike helmet. I slipped it on, doing the strap around my chin and running outside.

“Here goes nothing!” I yelled to myself lamely, before crouching and pushing up suddenly. The force ejected me into the sky, leaving an inward dome of concrete in my wake. Up I flew, gaining velocity as I went, the spike adding to my aerodynamics. I glanced up. There Sleep was, coveted in dancing flames as he entered the atmosphere.

“I WILL NOT BE BEATEN BY SOME STONER LOSER!” a godly roar emitted.

“Hey, I don’t tell you how to live your life!” I yelled back, before dropping my head and colliding with the demigod. An earth-shattering boom occurred, exploding in the sky and parting the clouds. The force drove us both back at speeds that seemed impossible. Sleep’s body flung opposite me, into the distance, dissipating into a black spot on the horizon. That was the last I saw of him.

I woke up in a beach in Hawaii. Where I had landed had formed a new crater, making the island of Oahu about a third smaller. I laid on the shore of this freshly made saltwater lake, soaking in the rays, still wearing the spike helmet. All seemed right in the world.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps. They appeared to form from nowhere, and glided through the sand n a soft, gentle manner. I turned to an astonishing beauty of sky blue fabric and pale skin. It was a woman – the hottest women I’d ever seen.

“Come to check out the crater?” I asked politely, sparking up a joint.

“How!?” she yelled suddenly, causing my joint to flick from my both and roll all the way down the slope, and into the sea. I let out a sigh.

“How what?” I asked again, politely.

“How did you kill him!? Sleep!? They found him, mangled and in bits! All because of YOU!” Her beauty disappeared as her hair began to take on a life of its own, flailing around like fire, as did her dress.

“A fight’s a fight. If you fight and lose the fight, it wasn’t cheating, it was just you losing a fight. But in this case I was a better fighter…” I looked up at the woman “Because I was better at fighting.” The woman looked speechless.

“Do you have a name?” she asked, composing herself “Mine is Wake. I’m a god, just like Sleep.”

“Sleep and Wake, that’s convenient.” I laughed, looking off into the sunset “Are you brother and sister or something?”

“We were.”

“Were? Oh yeah, right.” I silence passed. “So, what, am I the new grim reaper now or something?”

"You sensed it, didn't you," Wake asked softly, appearing to my left atop the skyscraper, the city lights twinkling below us, the clamor of day to day life a distant thrum in the night.

"Of course I sensed it," I replied, leaning on the railing before me, my gaze fixed on the starry horizon outside of the city.

"You're going to kill him aren't you?" She pressed, sadness in her voice.

"Of course I'm going to kill him," I responded, rolling my eyes.

"You can't let just one go?" She pressed, laying a hand on mine, drawing my gaze to her. She looked into my eyes with the hope of seducing me into leaving this one go, as that f***ing Rein had done.

"You're too forgiving," I responded harshly, drawing my hand from under hers and turning away, "He's drawn a following, just like someone else who was allowed to grow unhindered,"

"You're killing them all?!" She responded loudly, her voice cracking in despair.

"We wouldn't have this cursed magic in the world if you'd let me kill the f***ing necromancers instead of letting them grow until they unbalance the world," I spat back, "Should never have given them magic in the first place,"

"You are balance, not justice," She responded, equally harsh, grabbing my shoulder and spinning me to face her. Her flawless pale skin glistening with tears, the moonlight shadowing her silvery dress and turning her golden hair white.

"They die tonight, that's the last word on the issue," I responded, pointing a finger to the horizon, "Take away their magic and there won't be as many superpowered fucks out there,"

"We cannot reverse it, it would destroy the ecosystem and flow of energies," She responded, sounding hurt.

"Maybe if Rein would do her job, it wouldn't get so out of hand and so many wouldn't need to die," I shot back.

"You act as if I have some say over how Rein behaves!" Wake responded angrily, her teary eyes shifting from sadness to aggression.

"You voted to create her, vote to let me get rid of her," I said, my hand staying directed to the distance, "I know the rules, I've been informed in my short stay,"

"Just because she scorned you doesn't make it right to destroy her," Wake responded, getting in my face.

"That's not why- She never- What do you know about it? This has nothing to do with that," I stumbled over my words, lowering my hand and taking a step back.

"Go, murder another innocent, get on with your duty," She spat, disappearing in the blink of an eye, leaving me alone and angry atop the building. Shaking my head, I turned and stepped up onto the rail, gazing out into the city. With a frustrated scream, I leaped off into open space, dropping instantly hundreds of stories to the street below, slowing and floating down gently about ten feet off of the ground, invisible to the passerby's.

I was about to take off when something curious caught my eye. To my left, on a street corner stood a man with shaggy blonde hair and stained clothes, a joint hanging halfway out of his mouth, his eyes locked on me. Cautiously, I moved to the right, watching him closely as his head turned, following me. In one jump, I cleared the street and landed right in front of him.

"Woooah dude," He said without flinching, taking a drag from his joint, "This sh*t is stronger than I thought," He laughed, looking at the pungent drug stick.

"How?" I asked, scrutinizing this disgusting individual. He had no sensible control over magics, no superhuman or godly abilities, nothing, and yet he could still see me. Regardless, he had to be dealt with, and I swung toward him, freezing my claw only inches away from his throat.

"Awh man, that claw is tight," He laughed, nodding in the way stoners do. It wasn't right, he wasn't unbalancing anything, he was just existing. In fact, he had to be the most neutral person I'd ever seen. And then he did something I never could have expected.

He punched me.

A weak, halfhearted uppercut that connected with my jaw, jerking my head slightly and surprising me more than anything. Snarling, I took a step back, ripping my clawed sleeves off, casting them aside and putting up my fists in front of me in the classic boxer pose.

"Ya want some, mate?" He asked, skipping from foot to foot, shadowboxing the air in front of him in what I could only interpret as an attempt to look threatening. After a moment of this, he paused, lifting one knee in front of him and raising his arms above his head, pointing his fingers toward me, a soft "Whhhuaaaaaaaa" Emanating from his mouth, his joint dropping to the pavement, "f***,"

With that, I stepped forward, launching a devastating left cross into his jaw, rotating him in a complete circle. With a forearm block, I stopped his flailing arm as he came back to face me, trying to land a lucky shot with his momentum. With his other hand, he tried to, as far as I could tell, karate chop me in the head. None of his fighting technique made any sense at all and it threw me off considerably. I ducked back to avoid the chop and paused, watching him punch the air for a moment.

"Had enough f***er? I got more fer ya right 'ere," He said, acting as if the strike to his jaw hadn't happened. I'd limited my power back to human levels, but Jesus Christ, this dude could take a hit. Before I could respond, he jumped toward me, swinging wide with his right, trying to hook his fist into my head. I ducked under the blow and attempted to return, but had to sidestep a strange, flailing left uppercut under his right hook, which he then swiped back to try to catch me unaware, even though the backhand had no force behind it. I laughed aloud and stepped toward him, swinging my right leg around to hook my foot around his heel and drove my palm straight into his chest, knocking him backward onto the ground, his head bouncing off the concrete sidewalk.

While we'd been fighting, a considerable crowd had gathered to watch the man flail at his invisible assailant. No one made an effort to intervene, several people placing money next to him on the ground. With the man apparently unconscious, the crowd applauded, a couple people walking over to try to help him up.

I didn't stick around, though, I had a date with a knight that I couldn't miss.


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Re: Normal Guy Man vs. Sleep - Voting

Post  LordTomyh on Thu May 19, 2016 11:21 pm

Sorry Conor your fight was funny, but it made no sense and I was sitting here trying to figure out how for five minutes.


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Despite this mask of happiness I drown in dark despair.
The world may be your canvas but what you paint on it beware.
The pen is mightier than the sword. It has no limitations.
Imagination has cursed us all with life.

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Re: Normal Guy Man vs. Sleep - Voting

Post  Conor on Fri May 20, 2016 12:49 am

That's okay man! Reading can be pretty hard.

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Re: Normal Guy Man vs. Sleep - Voting

Post  LordTomyh on Mon May 30, 2016 5:42 pm

I'm fairly certain this has been long enough. I'm going to call it here and give the victory to Mike.



Facebook || DeviantArt || FanFiction.Net || ArchiveOfOurOwn || Wattpad

Despite this mask of happiness I drown in dark despair.
The world may be your canvas but what you paint on it beware.
The pen is mightier than the sword. It has no limitations.
Imagination has cursed us all with life.

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Re: Normal Guy Man vs. Sleep - Voting

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